It is said that when Yeshua was on the cross, for the hours of crucifixion, the words he was heard to utter were : 'Forgive them, they know not what they do.'
For those of us who’ve experienced dark nights of the soul and trials of the body, mind and heart, we know the pain and emotions are immense and completely overwhelm. Most times, we aren’t even sure we will make it through, And when dawn (literal or figurative) cracks, we are exhausted, reeling and raw from the experience.
From being in this place many times, it has never once occurred to me to think of another person, let alone send love, blessings or forgiveness to them.
I have never experienced anything even closely resembling physical, mental and emotional torture, so thankfully it is unimaginable to me.
With inner work, I often use the imagery of a chrysalis, where I’m liquifying some hardened or rigid part of myself. In those times - whether they last an evening or a week - I am my priority, and no-one else matters.
Inner work and prioritizing the Self and Spirit is important, especially these days. I’d have a full mental breakdown if I didn’t connect to my inner being several times a day.
And yet, while this is personal work that each of us do in our own way, I have come to understand that it is not individual.
Connection
We use the word connection quite often, be it our internet connection, not feeling connected to our partners or seeking connection with Nature or the Divine.
The absence of connection often leaves us annoyed, alone, frustrated and angry.
I live in Canada, and earlier this summer we had an internet outage across half the nation. The impatience and anger on the streets was palpable, almost a desperation to return to a connected state.
This isn’t just true for technology.
The spiritual seeker, often seeks connection with the land, with God, with the Self and the Universe. This is a beautiful journey, one I’m glad I started many years ago.
But there is comes a time, when we can trap ourselves, at least, I did.
In my ‘seeking’ for connection, my default place was that of disconnection. Unconsciously, I would assume I was disconnected and alone, and therefore I would effort towards connection. My thoughts, beliefs, actions and emotions were in reaction to this. This would look like the though of ‘things happening to me’ when something unideal occurred in my day.
So, I had to open to another perspective here.
I know and have experienced moments where I don’t feel particularly connected, and yet I am. It’s curious, because the sensation is that of being disconnected, but something quieter and greater than knowing also exists anchoring me to something massive that is radiant and nourishing.
Our feet touch the earth, our heart beats, we breath air, in and out, and our spirit-fire is activated within our Being. This is truth regardless of what external situation we find ourselves in.
So, when we say or feel that ‘we want to connect’, it’s actually that we already are, but have lost feeling, knowing or sensation in that moment. So, maybe it’s less hard to connect than we actually imagined.
When this percolates through the entirely of the Being, what rises is more of a remembrance of connection than a seeking of it.
It’s a bit like not using your phone, but knowing it is still connected to wi-fi.
We take connection for granted often. And when we feel it’s absence, we struggle and seek.
But what if another way is possible?
What if we relax into the knowing - surrender into the truth that we are always already connected to all the wisdom, love and power we will ever need - like an infinite battery pack, that is our Soul.
Then, the work becomes, removing perceived, perhaps self created blocks, densities, obstacles, distractions that keep us from accessing and flowing in this knowing.
Since it is in flow, we cannot keep it for ourselves, so it doesn’t flow TO us, but rather, it flows THROUGH us and into our world, our day, our realities and perhaps into the lives of everyone we touch.
Maybe the beauty of connection is that it is already there, for you, for me that person you just walked by.
Sometimes, we block our own connection, like a firewall we build because we have felt unsafe in the past. The walls around our hearts will come down when we are strong enough to surrender to great intimacy within ourselves, to our understanding of the Divine and with each other. But even while it is up, we remain connected; though it may feel like more of a dial-up type connection rather than high speed.
Connection to me provides safety and freedom along with trust and courage to keep walking tall. It may provide different things It different times to different people.
Maybe, this is what occurs when great Ascended Masters like Yeshua, Yogis and Wise Ones experience unimaginable pain and suffering during a life here on Earth; perhaps they access this knowing and though they are fully experiencing their pain, they can also love immensely in those moments.
What I’m coming to realize, is when we realize that we are truly and fully always connected, we cease to live only for ourselves. And while we may still do personal inner work, the resonant field generated is massive and works in benefit for all that is around us.