Missing someone is curious feeling isn’t it?
When a bestie has left the city, or a great co-worker finds another job, or an old friend who is just a different person now and has drifted away. You look in the mirror, and you see a face similar to that of the puppy above.
To me, missing someone resonates with the spirit of lack. Sometimes it isn’t the absence of the actual person, but rather the emotion or feeling that came with being with them, being known by them. Maybe the feeling was safety, ease, or maybe we felt seen, worthy of friendship, or like we were our best self around them.
The feeling associated, is like grief and/or desperation to me, which come in waves and ranges from intense to light. Through this, there is something taught and something to be learned, for all of us.
I’m someone who follows my feelings, more than my thoughts, as they give me a more accurate map of my inner universe. I have come to understand that the intensity rises to be felt, to be acknowledged, to be experienced as I am learning to allow my more intense emotions, without trying to fix or judge them.
When the feeling is lighter, I tend to follow it, like a guide that is trying to show me something. I learned recently, that sometimes when we love someone a lot, we can energetically merge with them. So, when they leave, a part of you leaves with them and a part of them is left with you.
In our Quantum fields, these pieces are trying to find a sense of wholeness, which is the ‘missing’ feeling we have. That feeling of something that was there, but you can’t perceive it with your eyes, ears and cannot touch it.
Absence - there is a real grief here.
Sometimes it takes years, because often an incredible helplessness accompanies it.
This is why, I wait for those lighter moments… to follow them. It is because I truly believe in Love. I believe that Love, more than anything else in the world can heal and harmonize us, returning us to wholeness. And grief, lack, and absence are paths to that.
If you are familiar with your toroidal field (the quantum and spiritual energy that pulses around you like a giant 3D doughnut), you may know that this is where the saying ‘You are the Creator of your life experience’ vibrates as true without any doubts or arguments from our rational mind.
Whether you access it in your dreams, through prayer, through meditation or visualization, I think what’s more important is that we know we have access to these parts of ourselves – however we choose to tap into them.
Because it is here, that we realize, in a practical sense, our connection to each other and how we were never broken or alone.
It is here that we receive guidance specific to our present moment, on how to return back to ourselves with all our pieces, through our feelings without ignoring or denying them.
It is here we know that despite what our eyes see and what our ears hear, our heart knows keeps our people with us and they are still here, celebrated in our memories and experience of them.
I still miss people when they drift away from me and we don’t talk to hang out as much as we used to.
But the strange thing is, I no longer miss them when they passes away. A far greater challenge to most.
I certainly grieve them, fully and deeply, sometimes for weeks.
But then, I am reminded that they return to Source, and since we are all connected in the ineffable web of Creation through our toroidal fields, I no longer really feel there absence, and the associated lack or grief.
They are with me.
I feel it and I know it.
I do not perceive them my eyes, but I perceive them with my heart.
I can’t call or text them, but I can commune with them whenever I need to, without the limits of technology.
Instead of pieces of me broken off and pieces of them floating around, it’s a cohesive web made of the stuff of Knowing and Love that orbits me, always there when I need it.
It is the Summer of 2022 as I write these words, and the grief felt these days is intense. It includes the loss of jobs, sense of self and purpose, and the people and things that anchored us in who we thought we were.
All of this, including our sense of identity and self is getting swept in the chaos. The jobs, homes, things, relationships, experiences that grounded us yesterday, are coming into question today. It’s like waking up one day, deeply missing the person you used to be.
But change is here to stay.
It isn’t that I believe in a better future.
It’s that I believe in a better present – where we feel our feelings, access our knowings and allow ourselves and each other to be the most present and alive version of ourselves. To give each other the gift of our most loving selves and revel in this.
So that when people come into our lives, we greet them with open hearts and arms, with great courage in ourselves to love bigger and brighter and receive them exactly as they are.
And when they leave, in any form, we do so maintaining our open hearts with gratitude and blessing for having known them.